Over three years ago I made the decision that it was time to quit smoking. I tried a few of the quit smoking aids; lozenges and gum. I tried cold turkey and then I tried some different prescription drugs. I would always manage to get down to one or two a day and then I would get stressed out and start up again. Shortly after I met my husband (who of course wasn’t my husband at the time) I managed to quit completely, but fell off the wagon when I lost my job.
As you can see I tried all the different ways that are out there, except the patch. My problem wasn’t quitting the nicotine, it was the habit. A cigarette after a big meal, first thing in the morning, with coffee, with a beer, after sex; these are what it’s hard to give up. It was also the reason that I got up and walked outside every few hours every day. It was also used as my reading time. So quitting was hard, because it was a habit that I missed when I quit. I would miss those habits so much, I could no longer truly enjoy a book and I had no reason to sit out on the porch, I would go back to it. I would get stressed out and it was my way to calm down.
You’re probably asking how I quit if it was this hard for me. On April 1st 2009 I found out I was pregnant. This was a shock all on its own. I’ll write about that some other day. As soon as I found out I knew that I needed to quit smoking. I immediately started cutting back. It was still really hard. By June I was still not doing so well on quitting. At the end of June I had managed again to cut down to 2 or 3 a day again, but I was worried there was no end in sight. Then in the beginning of July I surprised myself, and probably everyone else, by just getting up one day and making the decision not to smoke. That was it.
Okay, it wasn’t that easy. The first few weeks I constantly wanted a cigarette. The only thing that stopped me was thinking of the life inside me that was growing so healthy. I wanted so much for my daughter and especially wanted her to be healthy. I was so scared that the few months I did smoke were going to hurt her.
I was also scared that I would go back to smoking after I had her.
As the months wore on I grew better at resisting temptations and the cravings grew to be less often. The baby inside was apparently healthy and doing very well. But I fell into one of the traps of quitting smoking and pregnancy; I couldn’t stop eating and snacking. Before I quit smoking I had only gained 2 pounds with my pregnancy, after I quit I gained 35.
Fast forward to present day. Over the past two years I have occasionally been hit by the need to have a cigarette; a bad day, a smoking dream. But it doesn’t happen often. It also takes almost nothing to ignore the craving. If I ever had a problem I would just look at my perfect little girl and know that this is the right decision.
I see pretty women with cigarettes hanging out of their mouths and I find it disgusting. I see moms with their kids and a cigarette, all I can think of is the second hand smoke and impression that this mom is making on her children.
I’d like to say that I’ll never smoke again, but I’ve seen too many people go back to it. Instead I’ll say that I want to stay smoke free for the rest of my life. I’d like to raise my daughter in a smoke free home and hopefully help her understand why smoking is bad.
To those of you who are still smokers out there, I wish you luck with your quitting. If you need any advice or even someone to be your buddy while you quit I’ll happily help you. If you are an ex smoker I say congratulations!
Like my Blog? Click here to vote for me on TopMommyBlogs. While you’re there check out some other mommies too!
No comments:
Post a Comment