Happy New Year!

As I sit here and prepare to enjoy the New Year in my jammies with my cross stitch and a movie I can’t help but remember the old days…

Nah, never mind.  I’ve never been much of a partier, and I honestly believe that is whom New Years is for.  It’s for the people who like to get drunk and do crazy stuff.  I did that for maybe 2 years of my life and that was about it.  I grew past that stage so long ago I barely remember those days (haha, get it?  I actually barely remember because of the tequila).

So, instead of doing a silly flashback I’ll instead say please drink responsibly and have a good time.

Oh and I guess I have a New Year’s resolution.  I really do hate those things, I almost always say I’m going to lose so and so much weight and then I almost never do.  So instead this year I have an even better one.

I resolve to not worry so much and be happy.

Thank you Bobby McFerrin.

Don'tWorry, Be Happy 
From the Movie "Cocktails" 
Performed by Bobby McFerrin 

Here is a little song I wrote 
You might want to sing it note for note 
Don't worry be happy 
In every life we have some trouble 
When you worry you make it double 
Don't worry, be happy...... 

Ain't got no place to lay your head 
Somebody came and took your bed 
Don't worry, be happy 
The land lord say your rent is late 
He may have to litigate 
Don't worry, be happy 
Lood at me I am happy 
Don't worry, be happy 
Here I give you my phone number 
When you worry call me 
I make you happy 
Don't worry, be happy 
Ain't got no cash, ain't got no style 
Ain't got not girl to make you smile 
But don't worry be happy 
Cause when you worry 
Your face will frown 
And that will bring everybody down 
So don't worry, be happy (now)..... 

There is this little song I wrote 
I hope you learn it note for note 
Like good little children 
Don't worry, be happy 
Listen to what I say 
In your life expect some trouble 
But when you worry 
You make it double 
Don't worry, be happy...... 
Don't worry don't do it, be happy 
Put a smile on your face 
Don't bring everybody down like this 
Don't worry, it will soon past 
Whatever it is 
Don't worry, be happy 

Infested!

Not my house

I've begun watching a new show on Animal Planet called Infested.  I started watching it because I feel like I’ve dealt with infestations for so long that I can’t imagine a life without them and I hoped that watching the show would make me feel not so alone.

Now, I have to admit, once I started watching this show I realized that my infestations aren’t quite as bad as theirs.  These people have been driven to their breaking point with infestations, much farther than I could ever go.

In the trailer I had in Asheville our ant problem was definitely out of control.  I am an OCD clean freak, but we even had to put our butter dish in a ziplock bag to keep them out.  You couldn’t leave a drink sitting for more than a few hours without a cup full of ants.  There were days that I remember standing at the kitchen counter and crying, because I was so tired of the ants.  I never thought I would have to deal with another infestation like that for the rest of my life.

Enter the home I live in now.

Asian Stink Bug, aka The Skunk Bug

First were the stink bugs.  An Asian Stink Bug is like having a bunch of skunks living in your house.  If they stink on something it is very hard to get rid of the smell.  Unfortunately we had no idea of this at first and it took me a month to find out that the smell that was stinking up my house was the bugs that we were crushing 20 to 30 times a day.  Our landlord never answered emails regarding these pests.

They should pay rent and electric

Next we saw the mice and cockroaches at the same time.  Our landlord didn’t even respond to the cockroaches, as if it’s a normal everyday thing!  But they kicked into high gear for the mice, so I thought that maybe this pest they would actually do something about.  It ended up with me sealing up the holes in the kitchen where they might be coming in at, laying some traps and they gave us poison to place in the crawlspace.

Well, apparently mice are very determined little guys.  They decided since they were cut off from their normal way they were going to find a new way in.  They ripped wholes into the duct work that heats our home and came in that way.  Now we have huge whole in that duct work, so we’re heating the crawl space.  Also, the mice have all but taken over this house when I go to bed.  I can hear them scuttling around in the kitchen while I’m in the bedroom.  I’ve caught them climbing out of the vent in my daughters room.  They made her stuffed animal basket their personal litter box.  My landlords response is that they can’t do anything about mice coming in from outside (isn’t that where all mice come from?).  But the plus is that they are letting us move.

I’ve had it with infestations.  I do not ever want to live somewhere that has one again.  And maybe what should scare me is that I keep getting new infestations.  God, I hope snakes, poisonous spiders or raccoons aren’t next.  I don’t care what my landlord or husband say at that point, I’m packing up my daughter and we’re going to live with family or friends then.

As I sit here watching tonight’s “Infested!” I hear a noise in the kitchen and know that a mouse is chewing somewhere in there.  Moments later I look over to the right and jump…  A Stink Bug is staring at me like it’s my new best friend.  Of course as I go to scoop the jerk up he does his stink thing and I dropped him.  

Now his stink is all over my couch.  Yay.

Note to readers – If you have an infestation you do not have to live with it.  If you are a renter then call your landlord and talk about getting an exterminator.  I will tell you from personal experience that they are the best way to go.  In the past I’ve found that they have stronger poisons and are much more efficient at dealing with the exact infestation that you have.  They don’t have to be super expensive, so call around and get quotes from different companies.  If you can afford it, then get the quarterly service.  

3 Days Until Christmas

Walmart Christmas

I had to go to the grocery store today, aka Wal-Mart.  That is not the best idea this close to Christmas, but we were missing a few items for our Christmas dinner, plus the dog is out of food.  I’ve worked in retail in the past, so I generally hate going anywhere during the holiday season.  You will never see me out on black Friday, and I try to do most of my shopping online.

I do have a reason for this.  In the past it seemed to me that the closer you get to Christmas the meaner and ruder people get.  So, I was not looking forward to this.

I have to admit complete and utter surprise.  I only met with two rude people, although the aisles were packed and so were the lines to check out.  Everyone was in the holiday cheer with smiles on their faces, even the checkout clerk!  There were apologies left and right when someone was another’s way, which happened a lot.  Followed by, that’s okay, thank you; people helping other people.  I feel like I’ve moved to the twilight zone; that is if the twilight zone is this awesome place where people are actually nice to each other.

I am seriously never moving away from the rural south.  I can ignore the religious people constantly trying to convert me in return for this.  To be treated like a human being is almost like a Christmas gift all on its own.

Completely off topic… Sorry I haven‘t posted lately.  I’m just getting over being sick for the second time this winter.  Be prepared, you will hear that out of me a great deal.  I’m one of those people that gets every illness that I come in contact with.  I think I was born without an immune system or something.

Well, Merry 3 days to Christmas. 

Happy Chanukah (wow, I spelled it right the first time, go me).

Happy Kwanza.

Happy Holiday’s.          

                                

I view this as a multiple choice holiday.

Just Because

Anger Management

Ahhhhh!

Being a parent is hard work in so many ways.  There are things that are impossible to explain to your friends who are childless; this is why being a parent sometimes seems like an exclusive club.  But there are things even us parents don’t normally discuss with each other.  In fact it wasn’t until recently I discovered how not alone I really am.

When you become a parent the doctor’s will go on and on about how to deal with anger and Post Partum Depression, before I had my daughter I really didn’t have an anger problem.  Yeah, I would get mad sometimes, like the average person, but I would never say I had an anger management problem. 

In comes baby. 

Anger becomes a big deal when you have this screaming child in your arms.  It’s hard to explain but you never feel like you have enough patience and it seems likes you are always one step away from losing your cool.

Recently one of my mommy’s in my mommy group posted a question.  If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be?  I honestly expected the standard shallow female answers.  You know to be skinnier and stuff like that. 

Instead I was surprised by the overwhelming response of, “I want more patience.  I wish I could not feel mad all the time.  I want to stop yelling at my kids.”  I actually cried.  I’m not alone.  This is how I feel all the time.  I’m worried Kaylee will grow up hating me because I feel like I am forever telling her no and yelling.

It’s important to know that you’re not alone in feeling like you are going to blow your stack all the time.  It is part of being a parent.  If you ever feel like you are going to take one step too many though and actually hurt your child then you need to get help.

I wanted to add some tips that will hopefully help you or your loved one in dealing:

• If your child is in a safe room, leave it and count to ten.  Seriously does help.
• Take up boxing or some other contact type sport/exercise.  This will give you somewhere to vent.
• Take lots of walks.
• Yell if you need to.  You might want to leave the room your baby is in first though.
• Talk to someone.  A friend, a psychiatrist, a parent, your blog, a stuffed animal, just get it out.

Finally I want to add something for the spouse of the person with the anger issues.  Normally the women are worse off in this area, it probably has something to do with how we’re built.  So to all the husbands out there with wives who are struggling with anger issues:

• Be nice!  Don’t get mad at them for being mad, that doesn’t help. 
• Be supportive. 
• Take the baby/child to the park for a few hours so mom can take a bubble bath. 
• Put the baby to bed so mom can have a bedtime off. 

We know you have a lot going on, but sometimes we just need a break.  If your wife is a stay at home mom sometimes she wishes she had a job just so she could interact with someone other than her children and get out of the house.  Your job may be stressful, but at least it gets you out of the house.  If she’s a working mom that means she’s working and being a mom full-time, you probably have no idea how much she is actually doing and she rarely gets alone time.

I hope this helps someone else out there, you are not alone.

The Lies We Tell

I've been having this debate with myself ever since my daughter was born.  What do you say to your child about certain things?  I was raised with my eyes wide open to the truths of the world, but many kids believe in things that aren’t true. 

Santa is an amazing jolly man who brings our kids presents on Christmas Eve.  He flies his reindeer all around the world on a sled and delivers millions of toys to the good boys and girls.  If you’re bad he’ll give you a sack of coal instead.  He loves milk and cookies.

A magical woman called the Tooth Fairy sneaks into your room after you’ve lost a tooth and puts money under your pillow and takes your tooth away.

Don’t even get me started on some of the ones that I don’t know; Easter Bunny, The Stork and all the parents’ who tell their kids lies to keep them away from it.  Soda is icky.  TV will rot your brain.  If you keep making that face it will stay that way.  If you sit that close to the TV your eyes will go bad.  Monsters will eat you if you don’t go to bed on time.  There are so many more that are perpetuated by our society, feel free to add some of your own!

But how do I feel about it?  My daughter is reaching that age that she’s starting to understand the stuff we tell her.  If we tell her about Santa this year she’ll be prepared for next year.  Do I tell her the lie?  It’s all about the joy right?  I never knew the excitement and joy that other kids must get, waiting up for Santa, only to miss him when you fall asleep.  Writing him letters to tell him what you want for Christmas.  It all seems really sweet for kids.  Do I really want to deprive my daughter of all that?

What about the lie?  Is it really okay to lie to your child, even if it is all in good fun?  I could go into the psychological implications here, but I’ll spare you those gory details. 

Even though I am still lost on my own personal thoughts of this we’ve decided to go ahead and keep the lie of Christmas in our house.  I think I’d like her to understand the spirit of Christmas and that is what Santa is all about.  My parents raised me to know that Christmas is a time of family togetherness and love.  It’s not about the presents.  It’s about being with family.

Mom's Night Off

Earlier this week I had a great night off.  I spent 4 hours without my child or husband.  I got to meet some great ladies who I chatted with for what felt like hours and I spent two hours reading.  My new friends and I reminisced about the north, they were from New York, but talked about how we love the south so much more.  I finished reading my best friends rough draft and started on a new book called Tooth and Nail.  It was the most relaxing evening I have had in maybe 2 years.

I was in Emergency Room.

Yes, you heard me right.  On Monday I got a piece of fuzz in my eye.  My eye was so irritated but I thought it was just because of the fuzz.  But as time went on and the pain grew worse I started to think it might be something in my eye (other than the fuzz, which I pulled out).  I finally looked under my eyelid and saw what appeared to be a little piece of something brown.  My husband and I tried really hard to get it out, but it just wasn't coming.  I covered my eye and looked like an insane pirate.  We used eye wash and multiple other methods, cutting onions, crying and even sleeping to try and get it out.  Nothing was working and the pain was to the point I could barely think past it.  Every time I moved my eye it felt like a jagged piece of glass gouging my eye.

Tuesday I found a free clinic in Hickory that I thought I might qualify for.  I tried to get in to see them, but first had to go through the qualifying process, which would take too much time and I wouldn’t be able to get in to see a doctor until next week.  I started think maybe I could make it.  Did I mention I had taken an Aleve?

As the Aleve wore off I knew I couldn’t wait a week.  I’m not supposed to be taking Aleve because of my stomach problems, so I couldn’t take it all week.  After much debate, I did not want to go to the hospital again after what I went through last time; I gave up and had my husband drop me off.  We didn’t want Kaylee in the ER.

So, there I was again.  In this horrible ER, I was not looking forward to seeing these people again.  I got called up to admissions and met the nicest woman.  She was from Long Island, New York and because there was a horrible wait in the back she and I just chatted for awhile.  It was fun and it made me a little homesick.  We talked about how nice the south is and the differences between north and south.  It was so nice to just sit and chat without worrying about what Kaylee was doing.

I finally headed into the back.  They put some numbing stuff in my eye and left me alone in the room for about an hour.  Because of the numbing agent I could see without pain!  I read while I waited for the doctor while I relaxed on the bed.  When he came in he quickly pulled the little brown piece of what ever out of my eye.  He told me I had a corneal abrasion and was going to need to put eye drops in for a few days to make sure I don’t get an infection and to help the cut on eye heal.  Oh and he was awesome.  

After he left I had to wait on the nurses to finish me up.  It took about an hour so I got more reading in.

All in all I spent 4 hours in the Emergency Room.  It was the most relaxing and quiet night I have had in a really long time.  I’m not saying I don’t love my daughter and husband, but sometimes it’s just nice to get out of the house on my own.

The good news is my eye is all better.  Also, I had a better experience with the hospital this time than I did last and I got to relax.

A Mouse in the House

I just want to live in harmony

In case you didn’t know I moved recently.  It’s been four months ever since my husband and I moved into our new rental home that supposedly met all of our high expectations.

I’ll admit I do ask a lot.  I want my home to be pest free.  I’m a neat freak in the extreme, not to the point that I need meds or anything, but I need a clean home.

I want a home where there isn’t burning.  At the last place we lived the neighbor burned all of the time and it made me very ill.  I have terrible allergies and have to take Zyrtec just to be able to breathe normal clean air.  

When people burn leaves or trash I get very sick, have asthma attacks and have serious allergy attacks.

If there is a basement it should be water tight.  This one should be obvious.  I can’t store important things in a basement that floods.  And actually if it does flood, just tell me up front and have pylons already in place for me to put my items on. 

Fix stuff.  I’m pretty sure this one isn’t actually asking too much but I could really be wrong.

So, when my husband and I moved into this house we asked all the right questions.  Is there burning in the neighborhood?  Does the house have pests?  Is the basement water tight?  Are you going to finish fixing stuff?

No burning, no pests, this basement has never flooded (except the time the water heater broke) and you can even finish it if you’d like, yes we’re going to fix stuff. 

Maybe on the fix stuff part I should have been specific.  It was silly of me to assume they would take the two by fours out of the yard that are filled with nails, remove the nails from the shed in the back yard or fix the screen door that doesn’t close or have a screen (can you actually call it a screen door then?).

Of course if all of this were true I would not be writing this post. 

Water Tight Basement

Then started the infestations.  There isn’t really much to do about the stink bugs, they were really bad this year.  Granted if the windows were properly sealed or if the screens weren’t riddled with holes then our house wouldn’t be full to brimming with them.  Oh and don’t dare step on them.  They are called stink bugs for a reason.The first thing to happen was the flooding of the basement.  They blamed it on us and said that we moved one of the drainage hoses while we were mowing and that caused the basement to flood.  About $700 worth of stuff got screwed and our renters insurance won’t cover it because it’s a flood.  Oh and you can’t get flood insurance for a basement that has been known to flood (and if I did somehow manage it’s about $700/year).  Oh wait, did I forget to mention that?  The neighbor told me that this basement has flooded on every person who ever lived here, including our landlords when they lived here.  In fact the last tenants lost a whole living room set to the flood.

Dude, where's your house?

Fall came and everyone started burning.  No joke.  One day I counted 5 people on my street alone burning leaves.  One guy burns so much that his house is surrounded by such a thick cloud of smoke you can’t see his house.  How is this legal???  I just don’t get it!  In Pennsylvania you could never burn in a neighborhood where it would pose a health hazard.  And seriously, how could this not pose a health hazard?  There is no way that I am the only person who gets sick from this!

Put here to remove little fingers

Yay, pests again!  About 3 weeks ago my husband and I noticed roach traps under the sink in the kitchen.  Hmmm.  I hope these are a precautionary measure.  Then we accidentally, and not in a fun way, discovered a snap mouse trap under dishwasher within reaching distance of our daughter.  Luckily I found it and not her little fingers.  Once again, hopefully, somehow this is a precautionary measure.  Then the roaches and mice showed up.  My cabinets are full of poop and dead roaches are popping up in really gross places, oh and a live one in the laundry room. 

Btw, that is also our fault.  They tried to tell me that they remember what it is like to have toddlers.  There is always food around and sticky juice spots.  Oh no you don’t!  I am one of the cleanest people around, there is no way that you could possibly entice a mouse to live in my kitchen.  

What makes me the angriest is that we asked!  We asked these questions and they told us what they wanted to hear.  Are they lying or is this somehow a horrible misunderstanding?  And how could they not be lying?  I almost feel like if they would just tell me the truth I would be okay with it (maybe).  I just hate being lied to.  Even more than hating being lied to, I hate being blamed for things that are certainly not my fault.

The other thing that heats up my temper?  When we moved in the landlord said, “Hey don’t disappoint us”.  They felt like they were taking a risk because we have unsavory credit (In fact we paid last, first, deposit and pet deposit due to that credit).  But who is disappointing who?  We pay rent on time we give you thousands of dollars and you make me feel like crap for calling you.  I wish I knew a lawyer so I could get out of my lease and move somewhere else.  Anyone know I nice free lawyer?

Seriously. Over. It.