Two Years Smoke Free

Over three years ago I made the decision that it was time to quit smoking.  I tried a few of the quit smoking aids; lozenges and gum.  I tried cold turkey and then I tried some different prescription drugs.  I would always manage to get down to one or two a day and then I would get stressed out and start up again.  Shortly after I met my husband (who of course wasn’t my husband at the time) I managed to quit completely, but fell off the wagon when I lost my job.

As you can see I tried all the different ways that are out there, except the patch.  My problem wasn’t quitting the nicotine, it was the habit.  A cigarette after a big meal, first thing in the morning, with coffee, with a beer, after sex; these are what it’s hard to give up.  It was also the reason that I got up and walked outside every few hours every day.  It was also used as my reading time.  So quitting was hard, because it was a habit that I missed when I quit.  I would miss those habits so much, I could no longer truly enjoy a book and I had no reason to sit out on the porch, I would go back to it.  I would get stressed out and it was my way to calm down.

You’re probably asking how I quit if it was this hard for me.  On April 1^st 2009 I found out I was pregnant.  This was a shock all on its own.  I’ll write about that some other day.  As soon as I found out I knew that I needed to quit smoking.  I immediately started cutting back.  It was still really hard.  By June I was still not doing so well on quitting.  At the end of June I had managed again to cut down to 2 or 3 a day again, but I was worried there was no end in sight.  Then in the beginning of July I surprised myself, and probably everyone else, by just getting up one day and making the decision not to smoke.  That was it. 

Okay, it wasn’t that easy.  The first few weeks I constantly wanted a cigarette.  The only thing that stopped me was thinking of the life inside me that was growing so healthy.  I wanted so much for my daughter and especially wanted her to be healthy.  I was so scared that the few months I did smoke were going to hurt her. 

I was also scared that I would go back to smoking after I had her. 

As the months wore on I grew better at resisting temptations and the cravings grew to be less often.  The baby inside was apparently healthy and doing very well.  But I fell into one of the traps of quitting smoking and pregnancy; I couldn’t stop eating and snacking.  Before I quit smoking I had only gained 2 pounds with my pregnancy, after I quit I gained 35. 

Fast forward to present day.  Over the past two years I have occasionally been hit by the need to have a cigarette; a bad day, a smoking dream.  But it doesn’t happen often.  It also takes almost nothing to ignore the craving.  If I ever had a problem I would just look at my perfect little girl and know that this is the right decision.

I see pretty women with cigarettes hanging out of their mouths and I find it disgusting.  I see moms with their kids and a cigarette, all I can think of is the second hand smoke and impression that this mom is making on her children.

I’d like to say that I’ll never smoke again, but I’ve seen too many people go back to it.  Instead I’ll say that I want to stay smoke free for the rest of my life.  I’d like to raise my daughter in a smoke free home and hopefully help her understand why smoking is bad. 

To those of you who are still smokers out there, I wish you luck with your quitting.  If you need any advice or even someone to be your buddy while you quit I’ll happily help you.  If you are an ex smoker I say congratulations! 

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Happy Fathers Day

Fathers are the behind the scenes parents in a lot of families.  Especially now that more moms are staying at home we’re finding that dads aren’t getting a great deal of recognition for being a parent in the home.  Just because they’re not there 24 hours a day doesn’t mean that they’re not doing a huge part.  Some dads work 12 hour shifts then come home and put a smile on after a hard day and love on their kids.  Other dads are right there with mommy, picking the kiddos up from daycare, sharing the chores and the discipline of their kids.  And then there are the dads who choose to stay at home with the kids while mom works. 

No matter which kind of dad you are I’m here to wish you a Happy Fathers Day.  To dads who take the time to throw the ball; watch Toy Story for the 100^th time; Play Barbie; Play cars; Build Lego’s; make dinner.  This is for all the dads - you are amazing and we love you.

I’d like to add a special tribute to the dads that have touched my life.

Tom & Kaylee

First is of course my husband.  He’s been a great dad to our daughter Kaylee.  He loves spending time with her and enjoys everything new that she learns.  Kaylee loves her daddy so much.  When daddy is around the rest of the world could disappear and she wouldn’t care.

Rick & Kaylee

 Next is my husband’s father Rick.  He not only is an amazing father to Tom, but also a wonderful Granddaddy to Kaylee.  He raised Tom almost completely on his own while working full time, and he did a pretty good job.  He spends every free second with Kaylee, playing with her and taking her for walks.  He feeds her popsicles and cake when I'm not looking.

My dad, mom & me

Finally, my dad.  He was with me such a short time, but he made every moment count.  We had a special relationship that I will always remember.  He played with me when I was little and took me to work with him when he could.  He loved showing me off as his little miracle baby.  He was always around, mostly because he was sick and couldn’t work for large periods of time, but I cherished every moment.  He was a great man and will always mean everything to me.

Happy Fathers Day to all the amazing dads out there.  I hope your all your daddy dreams come true.

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ISO: Like Minded Geek Mom

I knew moving was going to be hard.  Living with family is never easy.  Learning a new area can be difficult.  Using GPS to get everywhere is a little annoying.  And as I stated in earlier posts I’ve been on the hunt for new friends for Kaylee so she can get out and play.

Last year around this time, I met my friend Mandy.  She has a daughter who is a year older than Kaylee and amazingly enough is a geek.  It was amazing to be able to sit with another mom and talk about Firefly, BSG and gaming.  We were even able to set up a weekly gaming session!  We let our kiddo’s run around and play while we played ourselves.  It was fun for them and even more fun for us.

I knew that when we moved it was not going to be easy to find another mom like her.  I almost wish there was a special site I could go to search for friends that I have stuff in common with.  I met my husband on Match and wouldn’t mind using something like that to help find some friends here. 

Don’t get me wrong.  I have nothing against other moms that are non geeks.  I have lots of non geek friends!  But when Kaylee makes a friend that means that I’ll be around that child’s mom a lot, I would prefer that we had something to talk about other than the weather and what it’s like living in different areas.  I’d love someone to have game nights with in this area (once we get our own place) and someone to talk to about my favorite books and science fiction/fantasy television shows.  I want a friend that I can lend BSG to who will enjoy it and I want this friend to also have a kid around my daughter’s age.

Yeah, I know I’m asking a lot.  It’s a tall order to fill.  Luckily my friend Mandy is only 2 hours away (she fits all that criteria, lol), but we certainly can’t get together every week.  And she’ll be moving here in a few years.  But wouldn’t it be cool if when she moved here I had created a nice little circle of moms all our own that will never look down on us or think we’re weird just because we’d rather talk about Star Trek than where we got our hair cut.   

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Not so Super Target

In case you’re not a frequent reader of mine then I’ll start out by telling everyone I moved two weeks ago.  My husband and I are getting acquainted with the area and decided to go to the Target in Statesville to look for a baby pool among other things.  As we pulled into the parking lot I almost lost it…  A Super Target!  I’ve never been to one and had never even known that they existed until my friend in Florida told me she shops at one all the time.  I had also needed to grocery shop so this was amazing because it meant I could just do everything right here and save myself some time.

As we wondered the aisles I became more and more disenchanted.  The children’s section was very small and almost nonexistent.  Only one aisle for furniture and all of it low end.  The home furnishings were also not what I’ve come to expect from Target.  Basically I felt like I was in Wal-Mart, I was so disappointed. 

So, I don’t think I’ll be going back to that Super Target anytime soon and hopefully this area has a more Super Target that I can go to.  I’ve always preferred Target to Wal-Mart.  I’m not sure what other Super Targets are like, but I hope they’re better than this one!

On a side note I did get to Wal-Mart and find the stuff I was looking for my daughter.  She is quite happy with her new blanket although she hasn’t tried out the baby pool yet. 

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Hulu Plus - A Review

Netflix 2.0

So, like many other geeks, moms and humans all around the world I’m always looking for ways to save some money.  My husband and I have been loyal to our DirecTV for years now and really thought we would never trade it for anything.  Well, for us tech junkies something newer and shinier will always come along and tempt us.

Our current cable bill is $90 and some change after taxes.  That does not include internet.  It does include our nifty HD DVR, although we aren’t channel whores, the only extra channels we have are a few HD Discovery and Science type things.  To say the least, it’s very expensive and we are a one income family. 

So, when I heard about Hulu Plus I thought about it for a bit.  Occasionally when I would miss a show for one reason or another (even DVR’s make mistakes) I would end up on Hulu watching it.  It seemed like a really great concept.  My husband and I talked about it off and on, but like I said, we’re really attached to our DirecTV. 

Finally we ended up moving in with family for a temporary stay and put our DirecTV on hold.  They have no way for us to watch TV here really, so we thought we’d give Hulu Plus a try.  It streams to our PS3 and we were really excited about the possibility of saving so much money. 

I joined up tonight and decided to use my free week trial.  As I cycled through the shows available and saved things to my queue I became more and more excited.  This was looking really good and I thought we had made a great decision.

Then we loaded it up on our PS3 to watch the White Collar season premier.

It’s not available for streaming at this time.  We went down the list of all our shows that are new and they are all not available for streaming at this time.  So, we’d have to watch them on our laptops.

This is unacceptable for us.  The whole point is so we can enjoy awesome TV together on our huge TV.  Why have such a big TV with awesome speakers if we don’t watch stuff on it?

I guess what I don’t understand is this…  If the new stuff is only available online why would you ever pay for this service?  You can just as easily go to the website for the station and just watch it there.  Why pay $7.99?  I guess if you don’t have Netflix I might be able to understand, or maybe you have a great deal of disposable income, or maybe you like watching TV on your computer.

These are the only reasons you should consider getting Hulu Plus –

1.  You like watching TV on your computer and don’t like searching for shows at places like google.

2.  You like the selection of old shows available (it is very good).

3.  You have a grudge against Netflix

4.  You have $8 to throw away every month…  Hey didn’t anyone ever tell you that there are starving children in… well everywhere.

If you aren’t any of these don’t waste your time.  If you choose to ignore my advice, it’s okay everyone else does too, then at least do the free trial and make sure you like it.

Please read my follow up review here.

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Living with Relatives

As many of my readers are aware I recently moved.  What you might not know is that we had to move in with my husband’s Dad and step-mother.  They were nice enough to take us in when the economy took a dump on our careers and income.  They gave almost the whole upstairs of their house up for us and our toddler.  I’m not even sure there are words in the English language to express how thankful I am to them.    

But that doesn’t mean that it’s easy.  Kaylee has just entered this stage where she’s very adamant about everything she wants.  She knows what she wants and she wants it yesterday.  This includes playing with Granddaddy’s guitars, drums and the cat that hates kids.  She’s already been whapped by the cat and ended up with scratched all up and down her arms and repeated butt whaps have done nothing to impede all the other bad habits.

Yesterday she managed to fall off a chair, fall into the wall and fall onto decorative bricks in the living room.  This has resulted in our child looking abused.  She has cuts and scrapes, a fat lip and her eye is a little swollen on the right side.  Yes, she has acquired my accident proneness.

But I never realized how hard it was going to be having her in a non-toddler proofed house.  I thought I could teach her to not play with the stuff she shouldn’t and that eventually it would sink in.  But I believe this is not possible.  My child is aware that she can form her own opinion and thinks she can make all of her own decisions.

So, what on Earth do you do with a child that refuses to be disciplined?  I’m not sure how to affect a timeout, short of buying a chair to strap her in which I think is too much.

I’m so thankful to have a place to call home, but my child is causing new gray hairs every day.  If my mom were still alive would tell her just how sorry I am.