STOP SOPA/PIPA

It’s everywhere and I feel I need to add my voice.

I completely understand what the federal government is attempting to do.  Piracy is a very bad thing and I think it does need to be stopped someway, but this is not the way.

If you don’t know what SOPA/PIPA is then please go here to read about it.

Basically it would give the government the right to censor any website that they choose as long as they say it is piracy of some sort.  So, quoting a song or posting a picture of a famous person would get your site shut down.  You would have no trial, no attempt to explain yourself; you would just be shut down.

This is not the way the internet should be, or anything in this country. 

First Amendment of the Constitution

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.

So, today I join thousands of sites in protest of SOPA/PIPA.  This will be my last communication on my blog or any other form of social networking.

Please go to Wikipedia today, find your congress person and tell them how you feel.

For the Birds

I have been extremely absent from writing these past few weeks and it’s certainly not because I have nothing to say, in actuality I always have way too much to say.  It’s because we got our wish and we’re moving.

Okay, well that probably wouldn’t have been the wish.  The real wish would have been for a magic fairy to come to our house; kill the mice, fix the vents and get rid of the cockroaches and stink bugs (I caught another today, yay).  But since that wasn’t going to happen (fairy’s don’t deal in the death of other living things for some reason) our landlords were nice enough to offer us the ability to leave our lease.  We weren’t going to jump at it unless we found another place that we liked, which surprisingly we did very quickly.

So, we’re moving… again.  All of this migration is for the birds, seriously. 

Anywhoo, I just thought I should let everyone know that I’m not dead, I swear, and that I will be back to regularly writing blogs about everything and anything that annoys, bothers and interests me very shortly.

I’d say wish us luck.  But at this point I’m just wishing for a house that isn’t broken or infested.

Depression in our Loved One’s & Spouses

Depression is a disease

My best friend made a post the other day regarding depression and it brought me back to thinking about this topic again.  I know I've posted about depression previously and my battles with it, but I was thinking about depression and how our loved ones deal with.  I also saw a commercial the other day about people with depression and how it’s not just about them getting treatment on their own.

Depression is also about acceptance and getting help from our loved ones.

I’m a big believer in medication but I think that should be joined with therapy sessions.  But one thing people don’t think about is that depression doesn’t just affect the person who is diagnosed.  It affects the people in their life and those people in turn affect them.  If someone doesn’t know how to treat a person who suffers from depression then the symptoms can be made worse, even with medication, thanks to the misunderstanding of that one individual.

I think that depression is a stigma in our society that needs to stop.  1 in 5 adults suffers from depression.  Why is it something we’re all so scared of even though it’s more common than cancer or diabetes?  By not talking about it we make it an uncomfortable topic for the people who do suffer.  Also, I’ve noticed that some people think it’s funny when I say they should take a mental health day from work.  I’m not joking.  Mental health is important and if you’re stressed then you probably need more than just a 2 day weekend.  I see nothing wrong with calling off sick to work because you’re mentally unwell, as long as you don’t make a habit of it.  Of course if you’re making a habit of it you should probably see a doctor.

So, that commercial I was talking about showed people walking with someone beside them.  One person had a sign with a type of mental illness and the other said something like shoulder to lean on.  It’s very true.  Everyone needs that certain someone to go to, but a mentally unhealthy person needs it even more so.

If your spouse or loved one suffers from depression there are resources out there for you.  These resources will help you learn how to cope with their illness and give you tips on how to help them.  Here are two sites I found that are really great for this Depression & Relationships and Living with a Depressed Spouse.

I can tell you from personal experience that having the people you love support you is very important and essential to your mental wellbeing.

This is the Story of a Girl - Part 2

My mom & me

I started this a few weeks ago.  You can read the beginning here.  There I wrote about my father, today I thought I’d go ahead and write about my mom. 

I don’t have a great deal of memories of my mom and there is of course a reason for this.  She was always working.  Because of my dad being sick she always had one job or another and I was either always with dad or alone.  At some points she worked 3 jobs just to keep the family afloat.  I don’t remember her cooking much, in fact macaroni and cheese and anything out of a can was normal in our house.  Our fridge usually had beer in it but didn’t necessarily have food and never milk.

Around the time that my dad got sick for the last time my mom started to have a mental collapse.  It might have happened before that, but because of my age I really can’t be sure.  I was maybe 9 when I noticed things changing with her.  She spent a lot of time in Philhaven, a mental hospital.  When she was there I would go to live with Aunts.  During this time I lived with my Aunt Dottie and Aunt Joanie occasionally.

Shortly after my dad died, I was 11, my mom was diagnosed with an AVM and had to go to Pittsburg for a special surgery called Gamma Knife.  AVM’s can cause a bleed in the brain as well as many other complications.

Mom and me

It seems like after my dad died she went downhill.  I’m not sure if it’s because she was so used to caring for him that she didn’t know what to do with herself, or maybe she was just that mentally unstable.  She attempted suicide many times, how many I’m not actually certain.  She was diagnosed with Multiple Personality Disorder, which is now called Dissociative Personality Disorder.  Basically the person thinks they are many people due to traumatic events from their past.  My mom believed that she had been physically abused as a child, which is actually up in the air because my Aunt’s, her sisters, disagree with this.

I think that my mom also had a problem with lying, but I doubt she was diagnosed with that.

When I was 12 she sent me to stay at one of my friend’s house for the weekend.  I guess there was a misunderstanding between us because I came home after only one night, to find her acting really strange.  I can still remember her childlike behavior.  I was so frightened.  I did the only thing I knew to do, I called my Aunt Mary.  It turned out my mom had tried to kill herself again while in a childhood personality.

My Aunt’s decided at that point that it wasn’t safe for me anymore.  They asked my mom to agree to allow me to live for a year with one of my Aunt’s while she was finally fully treated.  I was to spend my 8^th grade year living with Aunt Donna and Uncle Max in Elizabethtown, PA while she got help.

I saw her off and on during this time.  It was also during this time that something disturbing came out.  The man who had raised me was not my father according to one of my Aunt’s.  My mother never confirmed or denied this and I’ve attempted to contact this man, who never answered me, so I may never know the truth about my parentage.

Mom & Me

During this time my mom went further over the deep end.  She wrote endlessly in journals, her different personalities writing for her.  In a few she actually recorded her conversations with God.  God had given her a job in his holy war against Satanists.  At one point she even refers to how Elizabethtown, where I was living, wasn’t safe for me because it was full of Satanists.  It was her job to find and dispose of Satanists in Harrisburg.

I’m not making this up guys.

After a year of living with Aunt Donna and Uncle Max I didn’t want to go back to my mom.  It sounds horrible, but keep in mind that I was only 13 and I was tired of my stressful life.  I wanted to be settled.  I liked my new school and Aunt Donna and Uncle Max gave me so much that I never had before.  Plus, living with them I had “sisters” and a “brother” living with me that were close to my age.  It was everything I never knew I wanted. 

A few weeks before my 14^th birthday I told my mom that I didn’t want to live with her anymore, I wanted to stay in my new home.

I don’t think I handled it well, but again I was only a kid.

Just before my birthday she was found dead in her trailer in Middletown, PA.  There was a long investigation into a possible murder.  It appeared to be suicide, but apparently there were someone else’s fingerprints all over the house and my mom.  The police dutifully did their job and searched for a possible suspect, but in the end the case was closed as a suicide.  A lot of people, me included, think it was an assisted suicide and that’s why there were fingerprints everywhere.

So, I got my wish and I got to stay with Aunt Donna and Uncle Max.

Mom & Me

You can learn a great deal from ordeals during your childhood.  I know that I did.  I’m a stronger person because of what I dealt with, but I also have a stronger appreciation of family because of what I’ve gone through.  I would forgive my family almost any insult, because you never know how long they’ll be around to be forgiven.  I hope that wherever my mom is she’s forgiven me for what I did.  I was a callous child and had no idea what my decision or how I handled it would affect a mentally unstable person.  All I cared about was my comfort and happiness.  If you have a young person in your life that seems very grown up for their age, it doesn’t necessarily mean that they should handle tough things by themselves.

Ringing in the New Year

Me & Kaylee

My best friend Mandy did a post about what she accomplished in 2011 and hoped to accomplish in 2012.  I thought this was a great idea, so I’m stealing it, mwhahaha.

Yeah, anyway….

2011 was a great year!  I had so many memorable things happen.  Kaylee learned how to walk at the beginning of the year and she started speaking words I could understand this year.  She also took those words and makes whole sentences.  Now she tells me about everything.  She moved into a big girl bed.  She told me she loved me for the first time!  We finally moved out of Asheville, thank god.  I started this blog, which started out as a weight loss blog but quickly became a place for me to record my opinions, struggles and triumphs.  I discovered Textbroker.com, which allows me to make a small income from home.  I lost 10 pounds.  I finished my Serenity cross stitch (only took me 2 years).  I created a lasting relationship with my new family.  My best friend was released from the hospital and after a number of visits to specialists and was cleared but told be careful with her lifestyle.  This was a huge relief.

Of course there is always bad too.  My Uncle Chris passed away this year.  I moved into the Mouse House of Doom.  Hmmm.  Pretty good year when you can’t think of anything bad huh?

There’s probably a lot more cool stuff that happened, but that’s about all I can remember right now.

In 2012 I plan to not die, hahaha.  That’s a joke because of that 2012 movie.  Isn’t there another rapture scheduled for this year? 

What I really plan is to lose another 30 pounds.  Take some yoga classes.  Teach Kaylee her numbers and colors better.  Play with my little girl and think about having another.  Relax and try not to stress quite so much.

2011 was a great year and I’m certain 2012 will be even better.  I hope you had a great year and good luck in the new one. 

I wonder how long it’ll take it me to remember to write 2012 on everything?