Happy New Year!

As I sit here and prepare to enjoy the New Year in my jammies with my cross stitch and a movie I can’t help but remember the old days…

Nah, never mind.  I’ve never been much of a partier, and I honestly believe that is whom New Years is for.  It’s for the people who like to get drunk and do crazy stuff.  I did that for maybe 2 years of my life and that was about it.  I grew past that stage so long ago I barely remember those days (haha, get it?  I actually barely remember because of the tequila).

So, instead of doing a silly flashback I’ll instead say please drink responsibly and have a good time.

Oh and I guess I have a New Year’s resolution.  I really do hate those things, I almost always say I’m going to lose so and so much weight and then I almost never do.  So instead this year I have an even better one.

I resolve to not worry so much and be happy.

Thank you Bobby McFerrin.

Don'tWorry, Be Happy 
From the Movie "Cocktails" 
Performed by Bobby McFerrin 

Here is a little song I wrote 
You might want to sing it note for note 
Don't worry be happy 
In every life we have some trouble 
When you worry you make it double 
Don't worry, be happy...... 

Ain't got no place to lay your head 
Somebody came and took your bed 
Don't worry, be happy 
The land lord say your rent is late 
He may have to litigate 
Don't worry, be happy 
Lood at me I am happy 
Don't worry, be happy 
Here I give you my phone number 
When you worry call me 
I make you happy 
Don't worry, be happy 
Ain't got no cash, ain't got no style 
Ain't got not girl to make you smile 
But don't worry be happy 
Cause when you worry 
Your face will frown 
And that will bring everybody down 
So don't worry, be happy (now)..... 

There is this little song I wrote 
I hope you learn it note for note 
Like good little children 
Don't worry, be happy 
Listen to what I say 
In your life expect some trouble 
But when you worry 
You make it double 
Don't worry, be happy...... 
Don't worry don't do it, be happy 
Put a smile on your face 
Don't bring everybody down like this 
Don't worry, it will soon past 
Whatever it is 
Don't worry, be happy 

Infested!

Not my house

I've begun watching a new show on Animal Planet called Infested.  I started watching it because I feel like I’ve dealt with infestations for so long that I can’t imagine a life without them and I hoped that watching the show would make me feel not so alone.

Now, I have to admit, once I started watching this show I realized that my infestations aren’t quite as bad as theirs.  These people have been driven to their breaking point with infestations, much farther than I could ever go.

In the trailer I had in Asheville our ant problem was definitely out of control.  I am an OCD clean freak, but we even had to put our butter dish in a ziplock bag to keep them out.  You couldn’t leave a drink sitting for more than a few hours without a cup full of ants.  There were days that I remember standing at the kitchen counter and crying, because I was so tired of the ants.  I never thought I would have to deal with another infestation like that for the rest of my life.

Enter the home I live in now.

Asian Stink Bug, aka The Skunk Bug

First were the stink bugs.  An Asian Stink Bug is like having a bunch of skunks living in your house.  If they stink on something it is very hard to get rid of the smell.  Unfortunately we had no idea of this at first and it took me a month to find out that the smell that was stinking up my house was the bugs that we were crushing 20 to 30 times a day.  Our landlord never answered emails regarding these pests.

They should pay rent and electric

Next we saw the mice and cockroaches at the same time.  Our landlord didn’t even respond to the cockroaches, as if it’s a normal everyday thing!  But they kicked into high gear for the mice, so I thought that maybe this pest they would actually do something about.  It ended up with me sealing up the holes in the kitchen where they might be coming in at, laying some traps and they gave us poison to place in the crawlspace.

Well, apparently mice are very determined little guys.  They decided since they were cut off from their normal way they were going to find a new way in.  They ripped wholes into the duct work that heats our home and came in that way.  Now we have huge whole in that duct work, so we’re heating the crawl space.  Also, the mice have all but taken over this house when I go to bed.  I can hear them scuttling around in the kitchen while I’m in the bedroom.  I’ve caught them climbing out of the vent in my daughters room.  They made her stuffed animal basket their personal litter box.  My landlords response is that they can’t do anything about mice coming in from outside (isn’t that where all mice come from?).  But the plus is that they are letting us move.

I’ve had it with infestations.  I do not ever want to live somewhere that has one again.  And maybe what should scare me is that I keep getting new infestations.  God, I hope snakes, poisonous spiders or raccoons aren’t next.  I don’t care what my landlord or husband say at that point, I’m packing up my daughter and we’re going to live with family or friends then.

As I sit here watching tonight’s “Infested!” I hear a noise in the kitchen and know that a mouse is chewing somewhere in there.  Moments later I look over to the right and jump…  A Stink Bug is staring at me like it’s my new best friend.  Of course as I go to scoop the jerk up he does his stink thing and I dropped him.  

Now his stink is all over my couch.  Yay.

Note to readers – If you have an infestation you do not have to live with it.  If you are a renter then call your landlord and talk about getting an exterminator.  I will tell you from personal experience that they are the best way to go.  In the past I’ve found that they have stronger poisons and are much more efficient at dealing with the exact infestation that you have.  They don’t have to be super expensive, so call around and get quotes from different companies.  If you can afford it, then get the quarterly service.  

3 Days Until Christmas

Walmart Christmas

I had to go to the grocery store today, aka Wal-Mart.  That is not the best idea this close to Christmas, but we were missing a few items for our Christmas dinner, plus the dog is out of food.  I’ve worked in retail in the past, so I generally hate going anywhere during the holiday season.  You will never see me out on black Friday, and I try to do most of my shopping online.

I do have a reason for this.  In the past it seemed to me that the closer you get to Christmas the meaner and ruder people get.  So, I was not looking forward to this.

I have to admit complete and utter surprise.  I only met with two rude people, although the aisles were packed and so were the lines to check out.  Everyone was in the holiday cheer with smiles on their faces, even the checkout clerk!  There were apologies left and right when someone was another’s way, which happened a lot.  Followed by, that’s okay, thank you; people helping other people.  I feel like I’ve moved to the twilight zone; that is if the twilight zone is this awesome place where people are actually nice to each other.

I am seriously never moving away from the rural south.  I can ignore the religious people constantly trying to convert me in return for this.  To be treated like a human being is almost like a Christmas gift all on its own.

Completely off topic… Sorry I haven‘t posted lately.  I’m just getting over being sick for the second time this winter.  Be prepared, you will hear that out of me a great deal.  I’m one of those people that gets every illness that I come in contact with.  I think I was born without an immune system or something.

Well, Merry 3 days to Christmas. 

Happy Chanukah (wow, I spelled it right the first time, go me).

Happy Kwanza.

Happy Holiday’s.          

                                

I view this as a multiple choice holiday.

Just Because

Anger Management

Ahhhhh!

Being a parent is hard work in so many ways.  There are things that are impossible to explain to your friends who are childless; this is why being a parent sometimes seems like an exclusive club.  But there are things even us parents don’t normally discuss with each other.  In fact it wasn’t until recently I discovered how not alone I really am.

When you become a parent the doctor’s will go on and on about how to deal with anger and Post Partum Depression, before I had my daughter I really didn’t have an anger problem.  Yeah, I would get mad sometimes, like the average person, but I would never say I had an anger management problem. 

In comes baby. 

Anger becomes a big deal when you have this screaming child in your arms.  It’s hard to explain but you never feel like you have enough patience and it seems likes you are always one step away from losing your cool.

Recently one of my mommy’s in my mommy group posted a question.  If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be?  I honestly expected the standard shallow female answers.  You know to be skinnier and stuff like that. 

Instead I was surprised by the overwhelming response of, “I want more patience.  I wish I could not feel mad all the time.  I want to stop yelling at my kids.”  I actually cried.  I’m not alone.  This is how I feel all the time.  I’m worried Kaylee will grow up hating me because I feel like I am forever telling her no and yelling.

It’s important to know that you’re not alone in feeling like you are going to blow your stack all the time.  It is part of being a parent.  If you ever feel like you are going to take one step too many though and actually hurt your child then you need to get help.

I wanted to add some tips that will hopefully help you or your loved one in dealing:

• If your child is in a safe room, leave it and count to ten.  Seriously does help.
• Take up boxing or some other contact type sport/exercise.  This will give you somewhere to vent.
• Take lots of walks.
• Yell if you need to.  You might want to leave the room your baby is in first though.
• Talk to someone.  A friend, a psychiatrist, a parent, your blog, a stuffed animal, just get it out.

Finally I want to add something for the spouse of the person with the anger issues.  Normally the women are worse off in this area, it probably has something to do with how we’re built.  So to all the husbands out there with wives who are struggling with anger issues:

• Be nice!  Don’t get mad at them for being mad, that doesn’t help. 
• Be supportive. 
• Take the baby/child to the park for a few hours so mom can take a bubble bath. 
• Put the baby to bed so mom can have a bedtime off. 

We know you have a lot going on, but sometimes we just need a break.  If your wife is a stay at home mom sometimes she wishes she had a job just so she could interact with someone other than her children and get out of the house.  Your job may be stressful, but at least it gets you out of the house.  If she’s a working mom that means she’s working and being a mom full-time, you probably have no idea how much she is actually doing and she rarely gets alone time.

I hope this helps someone else out there, you are not alone.

The Lies We Tell

I've been having this debate with myself ever since my daughter was born.  What do you say to your child about certain things?  I was raised with my eyes wide open to the truths of the world, but many kids believe in things that aren’t true. 

Santa is an amazing jolly man who brings our kids presents on Christmas Eve.  He flies his reindeer all around the world on a sled and delivers millions of toys to the good boys and girls.  If you’re bad he’ll give you a sack of coal instead.  He loves milk and cookies.

A magical woman called the Tooth Fairy sneaks into your room after you’ve lost a tooth and puts money under your pillow and takes your tooth away.

Don’t even get me started on some of the ones that I don’t know; Easter Bunny, The Stork and all the parents’ who tell their kids lies to keep them away from it.  Soda is icky.  TV will rot your brain.  If you keep making that face it will stay that way.  If you sit that close to the TV your eyes will go bad.  Monsters will eat you if you don’t go to bed on time.  There are so many more that are perpetuated by our society, feel free to add some of your own!

But how do I feel about it?  My daughter is reaching that age that she’s starting to understand the stuff we tell her.  If we tell her about Santa this year she’ll be prepared for next year.  Do I tell her the lie?  It’s all about the joy right?  I never knew the excitement and joy that other kids must get, waiting up for Santa, only to miss him when you fall asleep.  Writing him letters to tell him what you want for Christmas.  It all seems really sweet for kids.  Do I really want to deprive my daughter of all that?

What about the lie?  Is it really okay to lie to your child, even if it is all in good fun?  I could go into the psychological implications here, but I’ll spare you those gory details. 

Even though I am still lost on my own personal thoughts of this we’ve decided to go ahead and keep the lie of Christmas in our house.  I think I’d like her to understand the spirit of Christmas and that is what Santa is all about.  My parents raised me to know that Christmas is a time of family togetherness and love.  It’s not about the presents.  It’s about being with family.

Mom's Night Off

Earlier this week I had a great night off.  I spent 4 hours without my child or husband.  I got to meet some great ladies who I chatted with for what felt like hours and I spent two hours reading.  My new friends and I reminisced about the north, they were from New York, but talked about how we love the south so much more.  I finished reading my best friends rough draft and started on a new book called Tooth and Nail.  It was the most relaxing evening I have had in maybe 2 years.

I was in Emergency Room.

Yes, you heard me right.  On Monday I got a piece of fuzz in my eye.  My eye was so irritated but I thought it was just because of the fuzz.  But as time went on and the pain grew worse I started to think it might be something in my eye (other than the fuzz, which I pulled out).  I finally looked under my eyelid and saw what appeared to be a little piece of something brown.  My husband and I tried really hard to get it out, but it just wasn't coming.  I covered my eye and looked like an insane pirate.  We used eye wash and multiple other methods, cutting onions, crying and even sleeping to try and get it out.  Nothing was working and the pain was to the point I could barely think past it.  Every time I moved my eye it felt like a jagged piece of glass gouging my eye.

Tuesday I found a free clinic in Hickory that I thought I might qualify for.  I tried to get in to see them, but first had to go through the qualifying process, which would take too much time and I wouldn’t be able to get in to see a doctor until next week.  I started think maybe I could make it.  Did I mention I had taken an Aleve?

As the Aleve wore off I knew I couldn’t wait a week.  I’m not supposed to be taking Aleve because of my stomach problems, so I couldn’t take it all week.  After much debate, I did not want to go to the hospital again after what I went through last time; I gave up and had my husband drop me off.  We didn’t want Kaylee in the ER.

So, there I was again.  In this horrible ER, I was not looking forward to seeing these people again.  I got called up to admissions and met the nicest woman.  She was from Long Island, New York and because there was a horrible wait in the back she and I just chatted for awhile.  It was fun and it made me a little homesick.  We talked about how nice the south is and the differences between north and south.  It was so nice to just sit and chat without worrying about what Kaylee was doing.

I finally headed into the back.  They put some numbing stuff in my eye and left me alone in the room for about an hour.  Because of the numbing agent I could see without pain!  I read while I waited for the doctor while I relaxed on the bed.  When he came in he quickly pulled the little brown piece of what ever out of my eye.  He told me I had a corneal abrasion and was going to need to put eye drops in for a few days to make sure I don’t get an infection and to help the cut on eye heal.  Oh and he was awesome.  

After he left I had to wait on the nurses to finish me up.  It took about an hour so I got more reading in.

All in all I spent 4 hours in the Emergency Room.  It was the most relaxing and quiet night I have had in a really long time.  I’m not saying I don’t love my daughter and husband, but sometimes it’s just nice to get out of the house on my own.

The good news is my eye is all better.  Also, I had a better experience with the hospital this time than I did last and I got to relax.

A Mouse in the House

I just want to live in harmony

In case you didn’t know I moved recently.  It’s been four months ever since my husband and I moved into our new rental home that supposedly met all of our high expectations.

I’ll admit I do ask a lot.  I want my home to be pest free.  I’m a neat freak in the extreme, not to the point that I need meds or anything, but I need a clean home.

I want a home where there isn’t burning.  At the last place we lived the neighbor burned all of the time and it made me very ill.  I have terrible allergies and have to take Zyrtec just to be able to breathe normal clean air.  

When people burn leaves or trash I get very sick, have asthma attacks and have serious allergy attacks.

If there is a basement it should be water tight.  This one should be obvious.  I can’t store important things in a basement that floods.  And actually if it does flood, just tell me up front and have pylons already in place for me to put my items on. 

Fix stuff.  I’m pretty sure this one isn’t actually asking too much but I could really be wrong.

So, when my husband and I moved into this house we asked all the right questions.  Is there burning in the neighborhood?  Does the house have pests?  Is the basement water tight?  Are you going to finish fixing stuff?

No burning, no pests, this basement has never flooded (except the time the water heater broke) and you can even finish it if you’d like, yes we’re going to fix stuff. 

Maybe on the fix stuff part I should have been specific.  It was silly of me to assume they would take the two by fours out of the yard that are filled with nails, remove the nails from the shed in the back yard or fix the screen door that doesn’t close or have a screen (can you actually call it a screen door then?).

Of course if all of this were true I would not be writing this post. 

Water Tight Basement

Then started the infestations.  There isn’t really much to do about the stink bugs, they were really bad this year.  Granted if the windows were properly sealed or if the screens weren’t riddled with holes then our house wouldn’t be full to brimming with them.  Oh and don’t dare step on them.  They are called stink bugs for a reason.The first thing to happen was the flooding of the basement.  They blamed it on us and said that we moved one of the drainage hoses while we were mowing and that caused the basement to flood.  About $700 worth of stuff got screwed and our renters insurance won’t cover it because it’s a flood.  Oh and you can’t get flood insurance for a basement that has been known to flood (and if I did somehow manage it’s about $700/year).  Oh wait, did I forget to mention that?  The neighbor told me that this basement has flooded on every person who ever lived here, including our landlords when they lived here.  In fact the last tenants lost a whole living room set to the flood.

Dude, where's your house?

Fall came and everyone started burning.  No joke.  One day I counted 5 people on my street alone burning leaves.  One guy burns so much that his house is surrounded by such a thick cloud of smoke you can’t see his house.  How is this legal???  I just don’t get it!  In Pennsylvania you could never burn in a neighborhood where it would pose a health hazard.  And seriously, how could this not pose a health hazard?  There is no way that I am the only person who gets sick from this!

Put here to remove little fingers

Yay, pests again!  About 3 weeks ago my husband and I noticed roach traps under the sink in the kitchen.  Hmmm.  I hope these are a precautionary measure.  Then we accidentally, and not in a fun way, discovered a snap mouse trap under dishwasher within reaching distance of our daughter.  Luckily I found it and not her little fingers.  Once again, hopefully, somehow this is a precautionary measure.  Then the roaches and mice showed up.  My cabinets are full of poop and dead roaches are popping up in really gross places, oh and a live one in the laundry room. 

Btw, that is also our fault.  They tried to tell me that they remember what it is like to have toddlers.  There is always food around and sticky juice spots.  Oh no you don’t!  I am one of the cleanest people around, there is no way that you could possibly entice a mouse to live in my kitchen.  

What makes me the angriest is that we asked!  We asked these questions and they told us what they wanted to hear.  Are they lying or is this somehow a horrible misunderstanding?  And how could they not be lying?  I almost feel like if they would just tell me the truth I would be okay with it (maybe).  I just hate being lied to.  Even more than hating being lied to, I hate being blamed for things that are certainly not my fault.

The other thing that heats up my temper?  When we moved in the landlord said, “Hey don’t disappoint us”.  They felt like they were taking a risk because we have unsavory credit (In fact we paid last, first, deposit and pet deposit due to that credit).  But who is disappointing who?  We pay rent on time we give you thousands of dollars and you make me feel like crap for calling you.  I wish I knew a lawyer so I could get out of my lease and move somewhere else.  Anyone know I nice free lawyer?

Seriously. Over. It.

Zoloft Withdrawal & Depression: The Final Act

1 out of 5 Adults Suffer from Depression

Two months back I tried to go off of Zoloft on my own.  You can read about my struggle here and here.  After my horrible visit to the Emergency Room I tried to wean myself off the way I had wanted to originally.  I cut my 50mg pills in half and took the 25mg for 5 days.  Then I cut the 25mg in half again and took the 12.5mg for the rest of the time.  The only problem was that I was noticing my short temper coming back and I was very emotional right before my period.  But what choice did I have?  I don’t have health insurance and I couldn't afford the doctor.

Luckily someone was listening.  A family member that I love so much called me and surprised me by telling me how they had fought with depression all of their life as well.  They were also on anti-depressants and had long ago come to terms with the fact that they are a better person when they take their medication and that they just have to have it.

Notice that I am using a non-disclosing voice here.  I’m not planning on saying who this was, because it is a very personal matter and it’s not my business to share their personal life.

Just knowing that I wasn’t alone made me want to cry with happiness, that person was exactly what I needed.  Just being able to talk to someone and know that someone else has gone through this makes all the difference.  But just to make it even more amazing, this person sent me money to go to the doctor and get my prescription.  This time I did cry.

At the doctor I was told that you should never try to go off of an anti-depressant without a doctor’s supervision.  Apparently one of the side effects of withdrawal from Zoloft is basically a short circuit in your nervous system.  This short circuit can cause the heart to stop working.  I’m not kidding, this has happened.

When I was going through withdrawal I felt mad that it was so hard to go off of the drugs, and I wanted to try natural remedies, but the doctor pointed out to me that more than likely I have an actual chemical imbalance in brain.  After all, mental issues run in my family.  If this is the case then there are no natural fixes, the drugs are there for a reason.  It’s like having diabetes in your family.  You certainly wouldn’t try a natural fix for that now would you?

I've always felt a little embarrassed by my mental problems.  But I’m beginning to think that is part of my problem.  I should not be scared to share or be ashamed of my condition.  I have a disease, just like an alcoholic or diabetic.  There is medication to make my life easier and I should take it.

I wanted to write this because I want other people to know they are not alone.  If you are struggling with depression there are resources for you too.  Check your local area for a toll free number for you to call.  Or you can email me!  I’ll always respond and maybe just talking to someone who has been through it will help you to, I’ll also use my resources to try and figure out how to get you help.

If you have to take medication then don’t feel ashamed of it.  And no matter what do not try to go off your medication on your own. 

This is the Story of A Girl

Dad & Me

I wasn’t really feeling inspired to write about anything so I thought I’d write a little about myself.  My readers probably do question occasionally when I make comments about not having parents and things like that.  I also have been told that if I could ever sit down and put my life into a book it would be a very good drama.  I’m not sure that’s a good thing, considering I hate drama and prefer my life to be nice and quiet.

Mom & Me

I was born in 1980 to Brenda Kay and William Henry Shearer.  My brother had turned 7 earlier that year and probably wasn’t very happy about the little squawking baby girl that came home from the hospital.  We have different fathers and his name is Thomas (which is strange because that is also my husband’s name).

My father had been diagnosed with mouth cancer before my mom became pregnant with me.  By the time of my birth he had extensive chemo therapy, radiation and his tongue removed.  At the time the surgery he had was considered experimental so the insurance refused to pay for it.  My parents took out extensive loans to pay for his surgery to save his life.

Mom, Dad & Me

According to my brother, the doctor performing the surgery actually wanted to use my father’s surgery as an example in the medical field.  If he had been willing to do this then the surgery would have been free, but my father was a modest man and could not bring himself to be put on display and have his personal life invaded like that.

My dad was given a prosthetic tongue that he was supposed to use to talk.  He refused to use it, he was a prideful man, and he always swore to me that what made him talk wasn’t the therapy; it was the motivation to be able to say that he had a beautiful baby girl.  He always told me I was his sunshine.  Music dominated our lives and he dedicated the song “You Are My Sunshine to me”.

Most of my child hood we were poor.  I wouldn’t say we were super poor, just poor.  Presents didn’t come often and we didn’t eat very well.  There were good times, when dad was well and working.  There were bad times when mom had to take three jobs to keep us afloat.  My dad went in and out of remission over the years; he’d get sick, get more chemo and radiation then be better for a few years.

My Aunts

When I was around nine years old I had noticed something rather curious.  I didn’t look anything like anyone on either side of my family.  Everyone had dark hair and brown eyes on both sides.  There I sat with my pale blonde hair and green eyes.  I was a precocious child so of course I questioned it to my mother and father.  They told me that dad had been unable to have kids, due to the radiation treatments making him sterile, so they had used artificial insemination; they even had a pamphlet for me about it.

Also around that time my father was diagnosed with lung cancer.  When I was 10 my father was placed in Renova, a facility where patients go to die.  Being the child that I was I had actually refused to see him after a few visits.  I thought I had a good excuse.  When I went to see him he never recognized me, he had a tumor that was directly over his eyes causing blindness.  I can still remember the smell of the room, sickness and illness, puss and pee.  If you are fearful of hospitals then never set foot in a care facility for the terminally ill.  It reeks of hopelessness and death.

Me, Dad & Tom

To this day I do regret that very much.  He passed away while there.  Maybe I never really understood that he could die.  After all he had gotten better before.  He was a great man and meant so much to me.  No one could ask for a more amazing father.  He had his bad side; he was a smoker and an alcoholic.  He was bad with money.  But he was my daddy and I will always remember, cherish and love him.

This has made me tear up some, so I’m going to stop there for now.  I promise to write more about the story of this girl.

If he’s still in your life, call your father and tell him you love him.  You never know when he won’t be there anymore for you to do so.

Hulu Plus - A Second Review

A few months back I reviewed Hulu Plus and gave it not so good marks.  I was trying to come up with ways to cut the cable cord at my home and found the fact that I couldn’t watch new shows from my PS3 very frustrating.

Well, here we are and I’m now an avid Hulu Plus user.  We actually just hook my laptop up directly to the television and watch from there.  The only shows that Hulu Plus has not been providing for us are anything from CBS, which we just go directly to their site and get, and stuff from cooking channels. 

We long ago have left Netflix and are still unwilling to go back to them until they offer something as an apology to customers whom were loyal to them for 7 plus years.  A letter just isn’t going to cut it buddy.

So, we now happily stream all of our shows through Hulu Plus or directly from sites.  It’s working out rather well and we’re proud to say that cable is not needed in our house. 

In Memory of Beth Ann Slick

Thomas & Beth Ann

I wanted to write a quick post about an amazing woman.  Her name was Beth Ann Slick and she was my sister in law.  She married my brother when they were very young and they raised three kids together.  Beth Ann had one of the biggest hearts of anyone I had ever known.  She had room in it for everyone, although she always spoke her mind and stood up for her loved ones.  She was so nice to me and treated me just like I was a little sister.  She gave me love and affection that I never received from my own mother and was seriously lacking in my life.

Two years ago she was very excited about us having a little girl and gave us tons of baby stuff and even made a baby scrap book for Kaylee.  Unfortunately she never got to see Kaylee, because she passed away on Thanksgiving two years ago.

You know how they say you never truly appreciate someone until they are gone?  In this case it is certainly true.  I don’t think I ever really realized what Beth Ann gave me and how much I loved her until after she was gone.

So, now on Thanksgiving every year while I am remembering what I am thankful for, I will also take the time to remember an amazing woman who I loved dearly.  I know that the anniversary isn’t actually on Thanksgiving, but it will always be the day that I remember her; her big heart, her love, her smile and her hugs.

RIP Beth Ann.  You left us far too soon.  

Thankful

I’m quite certain that you are going to read these all over the internet in the next few days, so I apologize in advance for mine.  But heck, it’s tradition right?

This year I am thankful for

My house

My husband’s steady job

The ability to put food on the table

The fact that my daughter has good healthcare

The ability to finish out another year happy and mostly healthy

My friends that have stuck by me through the move and all of the phone and internet issues; Mandy, Tori, Kelly and Greg

My husband, Tom

My dog, Sprocket

My in-law’s; Rick, Rhonda, Vicky and Dan

And of course my daughter

I don’t think I forgot anyone this year.  I actually make a list like this every year, but for once I get to publish it.

While you are eating your turkey and stuffing this year please take a moment to remember what you are thankful for too.  I think we spend too much time focusing on the negatives in our lives and forget the little things.  This is the one time of year when we need to set those feeling aside and think about those little things, let’s give them the thanks they deserve.

Happy thanksgiving to you all.

8 Days Later

I’m about to make two statements.  Both are true.

Eight days ago we began my daughters 2 year birthday celebration.  We celebrated on her birthday with just us, making it a special thing to be shared with her mommy and daddy only.  The party continued into the next day when she had her actual party with her friends and family.

I’ve spent the last 8 days cleaning up more poop and vomit than I ever have in my life (and I’m not exaggerating).

So, you’re probably thinking, this was one wild party!  Haven’t you heard?  All 2 year olds have parties that last a week with revelry including drinking games, vomiting contests and latrines.

Of course the reality is that my daughter got a stomach virus from her pediatrician visit (yes that visit) and either from the same place or somewhere else she got strep.  The stomach virus caused vomiting that started Friday night (her birthday) and lasted until Monday night, although we had one recurrence on Wednesday.  This meant we had to go back to that office, where we got an entirely different doctor.  This one was incredibly nice.  Even though Kaylee didn’t seem to have strep she tested for it, just because it’s going around and Kaylee’s throat was red.  I’m so happy she did, because it was positive.  To me that is the best doctor ever.

Wouldn’t you know it, we got the stomach virus too.  I’m a sympathetic vomiter, but somehow I made it through without ever actually throwing up.  I just felt evil and full of diarrhea for 4 days.  My husband threw up, missed a day of work and generally felt evil as well. 

Basically I washed my daughter’s sheets, replacements sheets and the blanket we used after those were gone so many times that I went through a whole bottle of detergent.  Then she pooped through her diaper, the sheets and onto her mattress.  That one was fun.

In case you have been wondering where I was the last week, there you have it.  I’ve spent the last two days getting caught up on the internet and my emails, now it’s time to get back to work.

Kaylee on her birthday

Nightmare at the Pediatrician's Office

I know how you feel kid.

In case you haven’t heard, we recently moved (yeah it’s been a few months now) but we’re still settling in making the necessary changes.  One of those changes was getting my daughter a new pediatrician.  I asked my mommy group for recommendations and chose a local Pediatrician that was part of a group based off of how much others liked her.  Especially because I was told she listens well.

So, I’d like to take a moment here to express what I expect from a doctor or pediatrician.  

1. Bedside Manner – Be nice!  It doesn’t cost you a thing to smile, introduce yourself and spend a few moments getting to know me and my daughter. 

2. Knowledge – This should be a given.  After all, didn’t you attend medical school and have loads of information in that skull or at your finger tips that I don’t?  Isn’t that why you make the big bucks?

3. Courteous Staff – That bedside manner had better extend to your staff.

4. Time – I’ve paid for my visit.  I think a doctor should take the time to spend at least 30 minutes with you.  

They should never be more booked than that.

Now, does that sound so bad?  Am I really asking too much?  You don’t think so either huh?  Then, please tell me why in the last 10 years I have only found two doctors that fit this description?  Are medical licenses now coming out of a cereal box?  Is it because only rich people can afford to become a doctor, so they therefore think they are better than the patients that they treat?

In case you couldn’t tell, we had a pretty horrid experience this morning.  Our appointment was for 7:50am.  I got there right on time and the door was locked.  So I stood outside with my cranky two year old, in the rain, for 25 minutes until they opened the door.  The girl at the counter never apologized but was otherwise really nice.  She had me sign a bunch of stuff and we sat down.  At 8:45 I was finally called back.  Kaylee through a fit about having to leave the front area with the fish and her new friends, she threw herself down, I struggled to pick her up and get going.  The burse came over picked her up, but she wasn’t nice about it.  

She acted as if I was a horrible mom for letting my child act this way in public, and she had kids!

The nurse basically stood in the room with us with her laptop and never said a word.  She didn’t introduce herself, she didn’t smile.  Heck we may as well have not been in there with her.  Finally she left and in came the doctor.  I got an introduction, no smiles.  She was in and out.  She looked Kaylee over, asked if I had any serious concerns, which I had a few (which she dismissed and didn’t explain) and left.  Someone came and gave her shots and then she had a blood prick for her iron count.  This all took 15 minutes.  I’m not kidding.

I guess most people would be happy to get in and out, but not me.  I had questions about development and things like that.  She never gave me a chance to ask them. 

Kaylee’s old pediatrician in Asheville was so nice, but stupid.  She didn’t seem to know anything about babies.  If this is what I get for complaining about her old pediatrician I am so very sorry. 

Baby 101

Newborn Kaylee

When we brought our daughter home from the hospital 2 years ago my husband and I were so lost in so many ways.  We had questions and out Pediatrician didn’t know the answers.  Now, we didn’t have a great support system upon bringing home our baby, if you have one then you probably got the answers to those pressing questions.   All of our family was at least 2 hours away.

So, I was thinking about it, especially after reading my best friends post on Geekmom about support systems, and I thought I’d make a list of things that stumped us as parents; the stuff that we really wish someone had filled us in on.  And a little sage advice.

Bathing Baby – This isn’t easy to begin with.  What we couldn’t figure out was how to wash her butt!  Now I feel stupid because I think I was worried I either would break her or maybe I was scared of getting wet.  You just pick her up and wash her butt, lol.  Also, how do you wash their hair?  Especially as they get older?  I found a neat trick here; I tilted her back in the tub until I dunk the back of her hair.  The first few times I did this she freaked out so bad.  But I sang a little diddy and it seemed to make it okay after a few times of it.

Sunning Newborn - She had jaundice

Doctors – They don’t know everything, just because your doctor tells you something that doesn’t mean you have to follow it like it’s the law.  On the hand here though, don’t completely disregard what they say either, why else go at all?  The same goes for books.

Schedules – All babies are different.  I’m a schedule oriented person so I immediately tried to put her on a schedule like all the books said.  My daughter wasn’t having that.  I’d try to feed her and nap her on a schedule and she was not okay with this.  Not all kids like schedules, mine certainly didn’t.  It took me close to 7 months to figure this out.

There is so much more I could say, but I’ll save it for my next “class”.  The most important thing I can tell parents is that there is no owner’s manual that comes with your new baby.  Babies really are a trial and error process.  Don’t worry; usually no babies get hurt in making of this homemade manual.

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Yoga for Beginners

Ouch

My mother in law (MIL) ordered me some yoga DVD’s that came yesterday in the mail.  I was very excited about it.  I have never done yoga.  I was excited to try it and see what all the talk is about.  Besides, I’m a pretty stressful person and I think yoga will help me chill out some.

So I fired up the For Beginners DVD today.  For Beginners my a**, maybe a beginner who has at least done this once.  I spent the most uncomfortable 15 minutes of my life trying not to fall over and bend into the most inconceivable positions while still looking at the screen while a toddler tried to climb onto my back.  That’s right, I went into downward dog and she scrambled right up there before I could say sun salutation.  So here I am practically begging my two year old to get off before she falls, and before the arms give out.  That was 5 minutes in.  I kept trying but this DVD was just too hard for me. 

I was feeling very sad and let down.  I had been excited about the yoga, hoping to spice up my exercise routine by adding something other than walking to it.  Besides, everyone raves about yoga.  I was looking forward to all the benefits that everyone swears to.

So, I popped in the DVD labeled For the Inflexible.  I think this one was meant for seniors.  Right away they offered a lesson with a chair.  I knew this would be better.  I spent the next 35 minutes curling around a chair and stretching in ways I haven’t since I was 16.  It was exhausting, but also exhilarating.  I’m not sure how relaxing since my toddler kept climbing on my chair and handing me hats.  But I do feel more relaxed.  I’m surprised by how much my muscles are tired.  I didn’t think yoga could be that good of an exercise.  My heart rate never increased (which I know is the key to burning calories) but I do feel the burn, as they say.

If you plan to try doing yoga at home with your toddler I’m going to warn you that you are in for some fun.  I’m hoping that the more I do the more interested she’ll become.  Maybe next time I do downward dog I won’t need a maddle.

Daddle.  Yes it is real.

Have you tried yoga but weren't able to do it at home because the DVD’s were to hard?  If so this is the DVD I’m using, Yoga For Beginners, Try it out.

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We Are the 99

You hear it everywhere these days.  Everyone has a sob story and there are protests all over our nation.  You can hear the outcry of American’s all over our fair country.  If you’re interesting in finding out more or where you can join the soft protests, as they are being called, go here.

Of course I’m part of the 99.  Who isn’t really?  Well, I guess that 1% but I doubt many of them are avid bloggers.  What makes me sad about all of this is that if the 99% had paid attention 10 years ago maybe we wouldn’t have gotten here in the first place.  I’ve been saying for longer than that something had to change.  President Clinton made some excellent strides towards putting us back on the right track.  You know that he didn’t really get props for that until now?  Then we had to occupy the big guy’s office with people who favor big business and overseas assistance.  No wonder we’re broke. 

Yada Yada Yada… I could go on and on, repeat all of the stuff you’ve already heard.  Instead I’ll say why I’m one of the 99, why I would march if I could (I have a toddler).

I don’t have health insurance.  It’s a choice that my husband and I have had to make.  He does (it’s free) and our little girl does.  She’s the important one.  The problem is that I’m the sick one.  I have a laundry list of health issues that no 30 year old should be displaying.  This could be because I was malnourished as a child, didn’t get the right vitamins or enough calcium.  It could just be bad genes.  I have no idea.  Today I found out that I more than likely have rheumatoid arthritis.  Without treatment my days as a writer and video game player are numbered.  Of course there will be no treatment, heck there won’t even be a test.  I was only able to go to the doctor because my MIL paid for it (which was so awesome of her).  Granted we’re not talking about tomorrow, probably 10 to 20 years from now.  I thought when the doctor told me what it probably was, no big deal I’ve always known I had arthritis.  Well, I didn’t realize how different it is.

I could go on about the rest of my list, but most of it is stuff that isn’t a big deal.  I’ve been preaching about Universal Healthcare for 10 years now.  If we had it I’d be fine and be able to get the help I need. 

There is no point in complaining.  I don't think anything is going to change my generation, but you know what?  I really want to help make a better country for my daughter and possible future children.  I really hope that we do somehow make a difference so that they can grow up in a better world than I did.  That's what it's all about.  I did want to get that link out there.  If you are at all interested in helping voice your beliefs about the 99 then go to the occupy site. 

Make a Difference.  Make a Change.  We are the 99.

Who wants my business?

I've written a great deal about the places that have made me angry and I realized that I might be starting to sound like a bit of a miser.  It’s about time I opened my mouth about the places that I find amazing, that I would recommend and get some good reviews out there.  I also have a few places that I’d like to mention that have been targets in the past that have made great changes.

AT&T – When my husband and I moved we decided to go with AT&T for our internet and cable.  Well actually we weren’t going to get cable at all, but they were having this really amazing deal on cable so we decided to get it for 6 months, while the deal was active.  It took over a month to get us set up, but the guy that came out to set it up was extremely nice. 

Well, if you are an avid reader of my blog, then you already know of this.  What you don’t know is what happened a few weeks ago (unless you have a wire tap or spy cam in my house).  I called because we were having so many issues with the bandwidth that we were having problems watching TV.  I figured I’d just cancel it now.  Plus the remote was giving me problems.  Without barely even a word from me this guy sends me out a new remote, gives me all the movie channels for free for the next 6 months and an additional $15/month off my bill for 6 months.  All just so I wouldn’t cancel my cable. 

Now that is service, and someone who wants my business.

Slimfast – Okay this is a little eerie.  I wrote a post awhile back about how Slimfast makes you sick to the stomach.  It’s not just me; it’s painted all over the internet (this is a pun if you read the other post, tehe).  Three weeks ago Slimfast released their new formula.  No more sick tummy.

Slimfast, you read my mind.  And I went back to using you J

Duke Power – This is one of the power companies in North Carolina.  They are so amazing.  They offer all kinds of services to help you figure out how to lower your bill.  And I just got a kit in the mail from them with 15 free green light bulbs in it, the kind that last 5 years.  They just saved us a bundle of money.

Duke Power, you are the best power company I have ever had.

There are so many more I’d like to mention, but for now these guys really stand out in my mind.  I’ll add more as they cross my path.  I don’t want to be one of those people who only complain about things, it’s also important in life to talk about the good things.

On that note, I’m going to lay in my comfy bed.  Good Night.

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Our Best Halloween Ever

This will go down in history as the best Halloween ever.  I’m not silly, I know that there will be better Halloweens, but the reason this will be the best is because this is our first best.

Princess Kaylee

Vampire Hunter Tom

It didn’t start out the best.  On Saturday we went to the downtown Newton event thinking it would be great.  Unfortunately it was really the opposite.  There were lines everywhere with at 30 people in them.  The waits were 10 plus minutes.  And you were waiting to play games, like at a fair.  Not one of those games was toddler friendly.  I was very disappointed.  Especially after last year, having seen how Fletcher had their Halloween Festival, this just didn’t stack up.  We got in our first line but it was about 50 degrees out so Kaylee only lasted 15 minutes and we had to go back to the car.  I would actually like to write The City of Newton a nice letter with suggestions for them to make that party a hit next year.  I’m thinking about it. It wasn’t hosted by The City of Newton; it was actually hosted by a local grocery store called Honey’s.  I’m not sure the city is aware that this could be a perfect opportunity for them to make some money, silly people.

Then we headed to the party hosted by Tom’s Lieutenant, see my previous post about that one.  I think Tom and I will be chuckling about that for years. 

Emily & Kaylee

After these disastrous places I was really beginning to think we would have another fail Halloween.  My best friend Mandy and her daughter, who is Kaylee’s BFF, came over for Halloween and we decided to trick or treat at the mall in Hickory, Valley Hills Mall.  I was worried about crowding and so many other things.  But they wowed me.  We were late, which was my fault, so we probably didn’t get the best of the candy.  You know the early birds always catch the best chocolate.  But it was still awesome.  We got lucky and a lady gave us her car shaped stroller, which normally costs $5 to rent.  Kaylee and Emily traded off and sat it in, although Emily was very excited to present her bucket to each person and say “trick or treat” (She’s a year older than Kaylee).  Kaylee was a bit shyer and made mommy carry her bucket but she still had a blast. 

Then came Kaylee’s favorite part, there was a dance party.  It was specifically for kids and it was amazing.  They had all of these great Halloween and party songs (chicken dance and electric slide) and a huge dance floor for the kids.  Kaylee and Emily danced for longer than they collected candy I think. 

Kaylee on the Carousel

On the way out we hit the carousel they have in the food court.  You heard me right, a full sized carousel in the food court.  Both girls loved this part, although they were getting quite tired at this point.  Mandy and I got a little sick from all the round and round, but it was worth it for the girls.  The best part is that you have to get cute little token to ride it.  It’s very reminiscent of my childhood.

So, you can see how this was the best Halloween ever.  We brought the girls home and they went right to bed.  Then Mandy and I got to have mommy time, which was only the 3^rd time we have ever been alone.   We plan to go to the mall again next year, but hopefully get there early.