This is the Story of A Girl

Dad & Me

I wasn’t really feeling inspired to write about anything so I thought I’d write a little about myself.  My readers probably do question occasionally when I make comments about not having parents and things like that.  I also have been told that if I could ever sit down and put my life into a book it would be a very good drama.  I’m not sure that’s a good thing, considering I hate drama and prefer my life to be nice and quiet.

Mom & Me

I was born in 1980 to Brenda Kay and William Henry Shearer.  My brother had turned 7 earlier that year and probably wasn’t very happy about the little squawking baby girl that came home from the hospital.  We have different fathers and his name is Thomas (which is strange because that is also my husband’s name).

My father had been diagnosed with mouth cancer before my mom became pregnant with me.  By the time of my birth he had extensive chemo therapy, radiation and his tongue removed.  At the time the surgery he had was considered experimental so the insurance refused to pay for it.  My parents took out extensive loans to pay for his surgery to save his life.

Mom, Dad & Me

According to my brother, the doctor performing the surgery actually wanted to use my father’s surgery as an example in the medical field.  If he had been willing to do this then the surgery would have been free, but my father was a modest man and could not bring himself to be put on display and have his personal life invaded like that.

My dad was given a prosthetic tongue that he was supposed to use to talk.  He refused to use it, he was a prideful man, and he always swore to me that what made him talk wasn’t the therapy; it was the motivation to be able to say that he had a beautiful baby girl.  He always told me I was his sunshine.  Music dominated our lives and he dedicated the song “You Are My Sunshine to me”.

Most of my child hood we were poor.  I wouldn’t say we were super poor, just poor.  Presents didn’t come often and we didn’t eat very well.  There were good times, when dad was well and working.  There were bad times when mom had to take three jobs to keep us afloat.  My dad went in and out of remission over the years; he’d get sick, get more chemo and radiation then be better for a few years.

My Aunts

When I was around nine years old I had noticed something rather curious.  I didn’t look anything like anyone on either side of my family.  Everyone had dark hair and brown eyes on both sides.  There I sat with my pale blonde hair and green eyes.  I was a precocious child so of course I questioned it to my mother and father.  They told me that dad had been unable to have kids, due to the radiation treatments making him sterile, so they had used artificial insemination; they even had a pamphlet for me about it.

Also around that time my father was diagnosed with lung cancer.  When I was 10 my father was placed in Renova, a facility where patients go to die.  Being the child that I was I had actually refused to see him after a few visits.  I thought I had a good excuse.  When I went to see him he never recognized me, he had a tumor that was directly over his eyes causing blindness.  I can still remember the smell of the room, sickness and illness, puss and pee.  If you are fearful of hospitals then never set foot in a care facility for the terminally ill.  It reeks of hopelessness and death.

Me, Dad & Tom

To this day I do regret that very much.  He passed away while there.  Maybe I never really understood that he could die.  After all he had gotten better before.  He was a great man and meant so much to me.  No one could ask for a more amazing father.  He had his bad side; he was a smoker and an alcoholic.  He was bad with money.  But he was my daddy and I will always remember, cherish and love him.

This has made me tear up some, so I’m going to stop there for now.  I promise to write more about the story of this girl.

If he’s still in your life, call your father and tell him you love him.  You never know when he won’t be there anymore for you to do so.