Anger Management

Ahhhhh!

Being a parent is hard work in so many ways.  There are things that are impossible to explain to your friends who are childless; this is why being a parent sometimes seems like an exclusive club.  But there are things even us parents don’t normally discuss with each other.  In fact it wasn’t until recently I discovered how not alone I really am.

When you become a parent the doctor’s will go on and on about how to deal with anger and Post Partum Depression, before I had my daughter I really didn’t have an anger problem.  Yeah, I would get mad sometimes, like the average person, but I would never say I had an anger management problem. 

In comes baby. 

Anger becomes a big deal when you have this screaming child in your arms.  It’s hard to explain but you never feel like you have enough patience and it seems likes you are always one step away from losing your cool.

Recently one of my mommy’s in my mommy group posted a question.  If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be?  I honestly expected the standard shallow female answers.  You know to be skinnier and stuff like that. 

Instead I was surprised by the overwhelming response of, “I want more patience.  I wish I could not feel mad all the time.  I want to stop yelling at my kids.”  I actually cried.  I’m not alone.  This is how I feel all the time.  I’m worried Kaylee will grow up hating me because I feel like I am forever telling her no and yelling.

It’s important to know that you’re not alone in feeling like you are going to blow your stack all the time.  It is part of being a parent.  If you ever feel like you are going to take one step too many though and actually hurt your child then you need to get help.

I wanted to add some tips that will hopefully help you or your loved one in dealing:

• If your child is in a safe room, leave it and count to ten.  Seriously does help.
• Take up boxing or some other contact type sport/exercise.  This will give you somewhere to vent.
• Take lots of walks.
• Yell if you need to.  You might want to leave the room your baby is in first though.
• Talk to someone.  A friend, a psychiatrist, a parent, your blog, a stuffed animal, just get it out.

Finally I want to add something for the spouse of the person with the anger issues.  Normally the women are worse off in this area, it probably has something to do with how we’re built.  So to all the husbands out there with wives who are struggling with anger issues:

• Be nice!  Don’t get mad at them for being mad, that doesn’t help. 
• Be supportive. 
• Take the baby/child to the park for a few hours so mom can take a bubble bath. 
• Put the baby to bed so mom can have a bedtime off. 

We know you have a lot going on, but sometimes we just need a break.  If your wife is a stay at home mom sometimes she wishes she had a job just so she could interact with someone other than her children and get out of the house.  Your job may be stressful, but at least it gets you out of the house.  If she’s a working mom that means she’s working and being a mom full-time, you probably have no idea how much she is actually doing and she rarely gets alone time.

I hope this helps someone else out there, you are not alone.